Ungrateful, Stop Wasting My Days

We are now officially in the Christmas Season. With Thanksgiving behind us we are now enjoying the many events that make up the Christmas Holiday. I so much enjoy this time of year. From Thanksgiving all the way through New Year’s is an exciting time for me. This time of year can truly be a time when we shine the power of God, the true meaning of Christmas. Yet, this is hard when we lack a true feeling of gratitude.

The world around us will continually throw junk our way to cause us to lose an attitude of gratitude. If we allow it we will find ourselves caught up in the spirit of this world and missing the whole reason for the season. Last week I received an email from the Pastor’s Coach; in it the writer had some things that block a feeling of gratitude in our living. Things that get in our way and side track us from being all Jesus wants us to be. The writer also gave some gratitude builders, things to help us build that feeling and spirit of being truly thankful. I thought I would share them with you this week. Maybe they will help keep the right focus on the reason for this season. Jesus!

Gratitude Blockers

• Isolation

If you are withdrawn from healthy relationships, to any degree, your gratitude will begin to decline. You were never intended to live within any sense of isolation. Sometimes however, people hide. They pull back and self-protect. Most people do "hide", on rare occasion, but only for a short period of time. People who get stuck in that pattern of behavior begin to hide (not be their true self) more as a lifestyle. This can be due to pressure, insecurity, and sometimes because they have been hurt or betrayed by others. There are many possibilities. But the point is that without consistent mature friendships and solid family connection, the natural result within the human psyche is to become needy (genuine need of relationship) and therefore making it difficult to be grateful.

• Fatigue

On the surface this gratitude blocker appears more simplistic. In reality you are tired. Simple enough. But why are you tired? How long have you been tired? How long does it take to restore your battery? Can you restore your battery? There is a difference between two common realities. The first is working a good long day and being exhausted, but with a good night's sleep you are fresh and ready to go again. The second reality is that no amount of sleep seems to give you a rested feeling. Stress in life and ministry can do that, and when that happens, gratitude is far from your mind. You are likely to go, albeit subtly, into survival mode and there is no energy left for being grateful. Establishing normal work and rest rhythms along with healthy relationships is essential.

• Myopia (Nearsightedness)

I wear glasses and my vision condition has been described as functional myopia. Years of a very focused and close up world, (people and study), has caused my eyes to see well close up, but far away things become blurry. Some people see life that way. It's possible for them to adapt and get accustomed only to their own way of thinking. They may have trouble with wider views and bigger pictures. When this happens your perspective can become distorted and it's easy to slip into a complaining mode. (Things just won't always go your way.) This can grow to frustration, and even negativity. To the degree any of this happens, gratitude is at a minimum difficult if not impossible as a way of life. People must always work on seeing the big picture.

Gratitude Builders

• Awareness

At times I think I move so fast, that the speed of life causes me to miss the good things and the things of beauty right around me. It's easy to find compassion and gratitude within me when I travel internationally, especially to third world countries. There is an immediate and inescapable awareness of all the blessings that I have in life, and potentially take for granted. I am so grateful in those moments. But I don't live there; I live in a land of plenty, in fact, a land of excess. I can get accustomed to this as normal, and then expected. When a blessed lifestyle is taken for granted and expected, gratitude begins to decline and it's replaced with complaining. That is a sad way to live. I try to live aware of the many good and wonderful things around me every day. They are good gifts from the Father above, and I am truly grateful. That is a great way to live.

• Intentionality

Essentially gratitude is a choice. I can choose to be unhappy or grateful. (Most ungrateful people are unhappy people.) It really is that simple. It's not always that easy, but it is that simple. Each day when I get up I can choose to be thankful for what I have or focus on what I don't have. That is true for you too. I was once challenged at a retreat to make a list of everything I have that I'm grateful for, and the challenge was to list everything. So I started writing. By the time I had filled three pages, single-spaced, I got the message. I set my pen down and was quiet before the Lord. Embarrassed for ever focusing on what I don't have, I resolved to focus on all I do have!

• Worship

Psalm 100, one of my favorite Psalms, says it well. "Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.  2. Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. 3. Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. 4. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. 5. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations."

We are wise to enthusiastically worship our great God! Scripture calls us to be intentionally happy and joyful in our praise. Yes, there are dark days, but take those to God too. He made us, knows us, and loves us! God is good and faithful! When that is the disposition of your heart and mine, we will both find gratitude a natural part of our life as Christians.

I hope you found this as helpful as I did. I challenge you not to waste the coming weeks by being ungrateful.

A Daily Dose Of Gratitude

In the coming day many across our country will celebrate Thanksgiving. Personally it is one of my favorite times of the year. Yet, even though we will have such a celebration, as a nation we have become often unthankful it seems. Few will stop long enough to allow a true spirit of gratitude to touch their heart. Many will never stop to be truly thankful for the blessing in their life. The Apostle Paul warns us in his last letter to Timothy that the last days would be filled with sinful actions of life. In the mist of the Apostle’s list of corrupt actions is unthankfulness. Yes, we truly live in such a day. (2 Timothy 3:1-5)

Being thankful is important to God. Throughout the scriptures we are encouraged and challenged to bring an offering (spirit) of thanksgiving. In Leviticus God laid out instructions as to how the people of Israel were to bring such an offering of Thanksgiving. In chapter seven details are given as how they were to prepare it and then how the offering of Thanksgiving was to be used entirely in the day it was given. They were to use up the offering before the next morning. (Leviticus 7:12-15) The spirit of thanksgiving was to start fresh in the day. Later God tells Moses that one was to offer the offering of thanksgiving of their own will. (Leviticus 22:29). Throughout the rest of the Old Testament one can find God’s people bringing such a gift.

I feel it’s important to realize that God wants us to have a thankful heart, a thankful spirit. Yet, it can never be a forced thing. A grateful heart has to be one of true and pure gratitude. Not a feeling because someone made me feel guilty. Real thanksgiving must be truly from the heart and of one’s own will. Another thing it needs to be a daily thing. A heart of gratitude needs to come fresh every morning. It is the spirit of this sinful world that causes us to be unthankful.

So I want to challenge you to lose feelings of bitterness, hate, feeling sorry for yourself, worry and fear that rob us from true gratitude. We can let life cause us to live with gritted teeth so that we become one with this world’s spirit of being unthankful. Yes, everyone has struggles and you may feel yours is worse than everyone else. Yet, you are not alone in your problems, people will get up in the morning and face things we can’t imagine facing. Yet, in the darkest hour one can find many things to be thankful over. A thankful heart seems to make the sun come up in one’s life. I found the following story that was told by Dr. Norman Vincent Peal. It shows how a thankful heart can change a dark life.

The story is of a man who was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. This man had been a vital, dynamic individual. Now he had become an empty shell of a man. Then someone suggested that the way for him to avoid further breakdown and be healed was by the practice of what is called the attitude of gratitude.

He was advised to sit down and make a list of all the people who had helped him over the years. Then he was to fill his mind with thankfulness for all that these men and women had done for him. He was asked if he had ever thanked anyone for what he or she had done for him.

“No,” he said, “I never really laid much stress on that.”

The next advice was to think of someone who had especially blessed his life and send that person a letter of thanks. He thought of a schoolteacher who was now elderly. He sat down and wrote a letter telling her that he remembered all the inspiration she has given him, that he had never forgotten her over the years and how much he loved her. A few days later, he received a letter written in a trembling hand. Using his boyhood name, it said, “Dear Willy, when I think back over all the children I have taught in my life time, you are the only one who ever wrote to thank me for what I did as a teacher. You have made me so happy. I read your letter every night. I will cherish your words until the day I die.”

This did so much for the man that he thought of someone else to write to. Then someone else came to mind and before he was through he had written 500 unexpected letters of thanks and appreciation. And the therapy of thanksgiving had much to do with curing him of his nervous depression. It lifted him above himself and into the secret of real living. He was grateful from that time on for every new day, and lived life to its fullest.

I have thought back of those who have touched my life.  I have dug through some files and desks draws and looked at old letters. I have walked down memory lane a bit. I told myself I couldn’t become unthankful. I can’t allow such a spirit to grip my heart. I cannot allow this worlds thinking to grab my heart and cause me to forget all my wonderful gifts that God has made sure touched my life. I have to make sure I’m grateful every day that I know how to say Thank You from my heart.

As I looked back I thought of;

My Parents, My Grand Parents.

The first Sunday School teacher I ever remember. My first school teachers.

My first youth leader. A dean at church camp, a softball coach at church camp.

The evangelist that first preached me to an altar. A camp evangelist that shook my life with his preaching. Another camp evangelist that preached me to a life changing commitment.

Those who have taught me, trained me, lead me, and showed me how to live for God.

A young lady, who impressed me, loved me and became my wife.

My children. My father in law and mother in law. My brother and sisters, my brother-in-laws and sisters-in-laws. The first people I pastored. An elder who wrote me a letter of encouragement. A leader who sent me a note to tell me he believed in me. A friend who took time to thank me for being a friend. The list seemed to run on and on. I didn’t get here by myself. There are a lot of fingerprints on my life. To which I am grateful! I Thank God for how far I have come. I am grateful that He touched my life.

As I look at my life I realize I cannot take on the spirit of the world and become unthankful.

I need to say Thank You. I will need another dose of thanksgiving in the morning. I want to live with a grateful heart.

Let me finish this with a thought from my wife from some years back.

I sat here today with a few moments to myself and followed a story.  The message was of eternal value.  It reached into every avenue of our life, our family, friends, and any other relationships that we might have.  The premise of the story was what would you say if you knew you only had three minutes left to live?  Who would you need to leave a message for, to forgive, or just hold close one more time?  In the busy world that we live in we have every advantage to communicate with people and yet we communicate less than ever before.  We think about doing things like calling or writing a note but we so seldom take that moment of time and let someone else know how we really feel.  Why is that when most of us cherish those few handwritten letters we received while dating, or letters from fathers while they were away at war or just away.  I imagine somewhere you’ve seen such a bundle of letters tied with a ribbon, saved in a special place.  I know I seen such bundles and I have such bundles.  Those from my father who was serving his family and country and those I received from that young man who became my husband and those I’ve since received from my husband. 

So if you only had a few moments left and just a paper napkin to write on, what would you write?  Who would you need to say those last words to? You have been given this space of time, this 24 hours, this day, don’t waste the time.  Use it to tell your family you love them and how much they mean to you.  You just might find the effort comes full circle and instead of you blessing someone else, in the writing or saying of those words you find a blessing for yourself.

You’ve just been given three minutes…what are you waiting for?

~ Stephanie Crabtree

Happy Thanksgiving

Jesus Would Love The Holidays

Sadly, many people believe that privacy and solitude is the pinnacle of success.

We see ads for people who have allegedly achieved financial freedom; a couple in their mid-sixties, alone on a secluded beach front property. We assume they arrived at perfection by leaving humanity behind. Isn’t that just like the marketers today? Knowing our exhaustive lifestyles, they paint seclusion as some definitive reward.  We’ve been sold the falsehood that solace and security is the source of pleasure.

And why should it be any other way? When we’re together all we do is get on each other’s nerves. People pull out in front of us. They are rude to us in the grocery store. They say harsh words (and that’s putting it mildly!). They don’t seem to care whether anyone else lives or dies.

Yes, it’s really that way right now as the Holiday Season begins to crank it up. People’s fuses get shorter and people set up their days to become very broken. Really though if there was ever a time that true Christians could make a difference it’s this time of year.

Someone wrote the following article packed with truth...

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We
were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out
of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed
on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches!
The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started
yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy.
And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just
do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the
hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call,
'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run
around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and
full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a
place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take
it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.

Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at
home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks
take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning
with regrets, so... Love the people who treat you right. Pray
for the ones who don't.

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you
take it!
Now ... go have yourself a blessed, garbage-free day!

Wow, now that’s one way to look at life.

Yet, because of life, people and our own self-centeredness, we more-times-than-not live life without being connected to people.

As you run head long in to the Holiday Season you will have chance after chance to touch the lives around you as Christ did. Yet at the same time you will be tempted to shut off your world and allow very few into your life. Jesus would never do that. I believe Jesus would have relished the Holiday Season. With all of its chances for it to be Jesus and people and people and Jesus, our Lord would have enjoyed the holidays immensely. Yet, we tend to with dread walk out into this world and into one of the greatest chances to do what Jesus would do, Love People.

If we are not careful we will be dreading Holiday meals and parties. We may even tend to blame our feeling on all the sinners at those events. (Another thing Jesus would have never done.) Really our feelings are because we have been trained by our world to be selfish. So, what do we do about it?

First pray for yourself every day. Repent and continually ask God to help you get past you. Then work at it and do your part to change. Yet you will never make it through the Holidays with a Christ-like spirit if you don’t have daily prayer in your life. You are not talented and smart enough to make it on your own. No one is, just look around you at how this world is doing without Jesus. So first, Pray!

Second remember people matter to Jesus. You may not like people but Jesus loves people. I can’t see how we can be Christ-like and not love people. Have you ever wished or prayed that God would save your family, touch your relatives? Why not allow Him a place to start this Holiday Season, that being through you? Yes, people matter and we need to act like they matter. Be sincere when you visit. Stop looking over their shoulder and away from them. Look people in the eye when you talk to them. Yes, remember people matter.

Third, get in front of a mirror and practice smiling and being pleasant. You may have to really work on this one. Our life actions can often make our words blush if the two are not properly aligned. God forgive us if our words are poetically pointed towards others, yet our actions are self-centered and us-oriented. Yes, you will have to work on this before you go out. It’s just as important as getting you appearance all prettied up. So spend some time polishing the rough edges and wrinkles out of your attitude before you leave the house.

So let’s have a happy Holiday Season, a joyful Thanksgiving and a meaningful Christmas with all the events and fun crammed in between. Let’s make sure we enjoy it as much as Jesus would. It will be full of chances to make a BIG difference in the lives of people!

Jesus would have loved this time of year. No, He loves this time of year.

How Do The Clouds Look To You?

We were on our way to church the sky was bright blue where you could see it. Large white clouds lay heavily across the sky. They seem to pile up high like big balls of cotton taking every shape imaginable. To me, the adult in the car those clouds meant something. Rain possible storms and wind even a chance of a severe hail and cloud burst.

To the children in the car they missed seeing the chance for rain. They didn’t know about the fact that some of those clouds were the tops of thunderstorms. To the children in the car they didn’t understand that wind and possible damaging hail could come from those clouds.

Instead of a storm they saw a funny face in the clouds. In place of a thunderstorm they saw little boats with sails. Instead of the wind and hail they saw a monkey with a ball.

In place of a cloud burst they saw puffy white balls of cotton and wish they could walk and climb on the top of those clouds.

We saw two totally different things.

One saw the possible chance of a storm and destruction; the other saw the possible chance for a daydream and a smile. As I listened to them describe what they saw and with excitement describe each little face and ball of puff I got caught up in their excitement and started looking for the monkey and the little boat. I even ask them to show me so I could laugh too but I couldn’t seem to see it. After a few seconds of trying I gave up and listen as on they described every detail, yet I couldn’t see a thing but a possible storm. Why didn’t they worry about the storm? They knew it was Daddy’s job and they left that worry to their father. After a few minutes I ask myself this question, How do the Clouds Look to You?

Yes, it is the adult thing to plan and see the troubled times that are coming. Yes, it’s the grown-up way to watch for the storms. Yes, it is the adult level of maturity that causes us to understand the severity of a problem and plan for its destruction. Yes, we should watch and plan for the winds of life we would be foolish to not plan on storms.

Yet, could it be that God would make our life a whole lot more peaceful if we would just learn to trust our Heavenly Father and understand yes, it may be a storm but My Heavenly Dad is with me and He will watch for the storms. Then we could enjoy all the little sail boats and puffy white cotton. How do the Clouds Look to You?

Children look at life different than adults. Children except pain and struggle and go on enjoying life. Children will look at problems and believe anyone that tells them that the problem can be put down or pushed aside. That is why children believe in Super Heroes and Fairy Tales.

A child will see a coming storm and question if we are going to get wet. If an adult tells them it’s going the other way they go back to playing as if the storm is not there. It is the adult in us that question the coming storm and when told it more-than-likely won’t come this way we say, “Oh but it could.” The report might not be bad, “But oh it could be.” It’s the adult that will go on with, “We might get wet, no, we more than likely will get wet, no, we will get caught in the storm and…” By the time we finish thinking about it we have ourselves believing that we and everyone else believing will get wet in the storm that might be coming our way.

Could it be that this is what Jesus was trying to tell us when He said “…except you become as a little child and trust me and what I’m doing in your life your not going to make it in the kingdom of God.” (Matthew 18:3-4)

How do the Clouds Look to You?

I watched one day as a cloud burst caught my two youngest children, Jessica and Bryan, when they were little tots. They were playing in our barn that is away from the house. After watching it pour down for a bit they quickly decided to make a run for the house. As they made their break for the house the rain really started to fall. About half way to the house there is a little tree and they made a race for it. They stopped and tried to find shelter under the tree but the rain was really falling now and it offered little break from the storm. So again they made a break for the house, this time half way to the house they stopped and just started spinning and enjoying the water. What had started, as a storm in their life was now nothing but a big sprinkler to get wet in. They danced and played in the rain. So as the adult in their life I told them to stop and get in out of the rain. Yes, I know I ruined it all.

Sometimes in this process called life we need to stop and just realize how blessed we are and how far we have come and realize it’s just water, it’s just life. It’s just rain. It’s just what comes with living. We can get so caught up in the process, in trying to make the whole picture come together perfect and make everything work just right that we miss the success of the moment or the blessing of the day. God when creating this world stopped at the end of every day and enjoyed what He had just created and said it was good. The Almighty took time every day of creation to finish that day by enjoy the moment.

Maybe it was for this reason that King David while bringing back the Ark of God, stopped every 6 paces and built an altar so he could thank God for the last six steps of blessings in his life and what God had just done. There were those who no doubt told David we have a long ways to go.

There were probably those who said; “I don’t know what he is all excited about.” There were no doubt people around that said that it was childlike and not very mature. There were those who questioned his worship and all but said it was childish. Yes, there were clouds and things to accomplish and things to get done and lives to live. Yes, there was a kingdom to rule and enemy to defeat. Yes, David had much that needed his attention and life was not working just like he planned. But I can hear him maybe ask, How do the Clouds Look to You?

Are you seeing only the rain and the wind or can you see the little sailboat and the monkey with a ball? How do the clouds look to you?

We will each come to the closing days of our life. We will find our self with really only four things that matters in those closing days.

1.      The Almighty God so build a great relationship with Him.

2.      Yourself so become someone you like and enjoy being.

3.      Your companion so build a love to last a life time.

4.      Your memories so take lots of picture with you in them.

How do the Clouds Look to You?